Federal government orders 20 U.S. states to change their names after Indian words deemed 'offensive' to Native Americans

(NaturalNews) Today the U.S. patent and trademark office cancelled the trademark registrations of the Washington Redskins football franchise, suddenly claiming the trademarks are "offensive to Native Americans," reports the Chicago Tribune. (1)

"Trademarks that disparage or belittle other groups are not permitted under federal law," the paper reports. "The ruling Wednesday pertains to six different trademarks containing the word Redskin."

The move has shocked almost everyone, because the football team name isn't an offensive statement like, "Redskins Suck." It's actually a heroic context, saying that Redskins are heroic warriors.

A growing number of Native Americans have claimed the name "Redskins" is highly offensive to them. Many of these Native Americans just happen to live in states like "Oklahoma" and "Minnesota" which, it turns out, are also named after Indian tribes. Do they also hate their state governments?

(Satire section) Suddenly realizing that U.S. states carry names of Indian tribes, the U.S. government has now ordered 20 U.S. states to change their names to something that won't be "deemed offensive."

The states now ordered to change their names are:

Alabama
Arkansas
North Dakota / South Dakota
Idaho
Illinois
Indiana
Iowa
Kansas
Kentucky
Massachusetts
Michigan
Minnesota
Mississippi
Missouri
Nebraska
Oklahoma
Tennessee
Wisconsin
Wyoming

All 20 states have until December 31st of this year to change their names to something meaningless and bland in order to be offensive to no one.

"Political correctness now demands that we cleanse away all heritage of Native American Indians by erasing their vocabulary from all maps and history books," explained Obama's Thought Police Czar. "The mere thinking of an Indian tribe name, even in your own mind, is now a thought crime in America."

When reporters pointed out that the very name "America" was also an Indian name, the Thought Police Czar immediately committed suicide with an arrowhead, begging for forgiveness for living in such a "racist nation."

White guilt mass protests unleashed everywhere

In response to the shocking discovery that at least 20 U.S. states are named after Native American Indian tribes, white people everywhere began lashing themselves with torture whips in mass demonstrations of their "white guilt" for even uttering the names of any state having an Indian tribe name.

"I'm from Minn... uh, I'm from up North," wept one white shame guilt tripper who has forever sworn off uttering the word "Minnesota" because it might be offensive to Native Americans.

In addition to 20 U.S. states that have Indian tribe names, there are apparently over 500 U.S. cities and towns named after Indian words which will also have to be renamed into meaningless babble.

The federal government is now recommending that these 20 U.S. states consider invoking names like, "Oak Place" or "Pleasant Grove" -- the same sort of dreamy, meaningless blather commonly assigned to streets in politically correct planned communities where no one is ever allowed to be even mildly offended by any words at all.

The government specifically encourages states to find new names that express things they hope for, rather than things that actually exist in the state. Arizona, for example, might be renamed to, "Surging Waters," and the state previously known as Illinois might be called, "Liberty."

All cultural names to be stripped from memory

Believe it or not, just as this is happening with Indian names, many members of the Latino community are expressing outrage that street names in California, Arizona, New Mexico and Texas are named things like "El Campo" and "Buena Vista."

"These obviously racist Latino names are highly offensive to our cultural heritage," explained one protester. "They mock our language and our people."

Obama has indicated he will soon invoke executive order to outlaw all Latin-sounding street names.

The cleansing of minds is the ultimate goal of political correctness

As you hopefully figured out by now, much of this story is satire. But it doesn't have to be: political correctness is so freakishly insane across America right now that this story could be true.

As someone who is partially Native American Indian myself, I wrote this story to demonstrate an important point: The only world where political correctness is fully achieved is a world stripped of all meaning and culture, where no one is allowed to think, utter or invoke any word from any other culture.

This is not the path to diversity, compassion and multicultural understanding. Eliminating all Indian-sounding words does not honor the heritage of Native American Indians. Eliminating Latin-sounding words does not honor the millions of Americans who are of Latin American origin. This "language cleansing" is a misguided, wholly irrational overreaction in a nation that has lost its mind on the issue of political correctness.

As a partial American Indian myself, I am not offended by the name "Redskins." I am offended by the stupidity of the thought police who want to cleanse all our minds by removing all cultural heritage from our world. I am offended by finger-wagging bureaucrats who demonstrate the greatest hypocrisy of all in that their twisted economic policies harm ALL Americans, including Native Americans.

I am offended by real racism in behavior, not in mere words or thoughts. Was Donald Sterling an asshat for uttering words of racism against blacks? Of course he was, but FAR worse is the true history of U.S. government medical experiments conducted on blacks which specifically targeted African-American prisoners and soldiers because the government itself saw these people as "expendable." That's REAL racism, not just a thought crime.

Political correctness has gone so awry in America today -- a nation named after Native American words -- that you can't even discuss the issue of "traditional marriage" without being viciously attacked by a group Bill Maher calls the "gay mafia." (His words, not mine.) (2)

Maybe it's time we told all these groups who get over-excited about words to take a chill pill and calm down. It is impossible to use words and not find somebody somewhere who is somehow offended by them. The use of Native American cultural language in our country is an honorable remembrance, not a racist attack. We name our cities and states after Native American words because we want to remember, not because we want to forget.

And what do we want to remember? I, for one, hope we will always remember the mass genocide committed against Native American Indians by the imperialist Europeans, starting from Columbus on down. To me, the fact that we still celebrate a Columbus Day federal holiday is far more offensive than the name of the "Washington Redskins."

Oh, but I forgot: Nobody knows the true history of Columbus and how his men committed mass murder against American Indians... that's not taught in the history books, you see. Those words are not allowed to be uttered at all because the government doesn't endorse those words from the journals of the Columbus sailing expedition. (You have to buy the book "A People's History of the United States" by Howard Zinn if you want to read the real history not taught in government-monopolized schools.)

Controlling your mind by controlling your words

Do you see what's behind all this? Political correctness is an insidious form of mind control.

When a person's words are tightly controlled so that the government determines what language you are allowed to use, what history you learn and what thoughts are acceptable today, then you are nothing more than a slave to the state and its Ministry of Truth.

Today's decision by the U.S. patent and trademark office is nothing more than a thought police enforcement action to control our words and thereby control our thoughts.

Shame on them, and shame on all those who practice political correctness. Isn't it time we had the freedom to think and say what we wish, even if some number of people decide to find it offensive for their own personal reasons? No one has ever called me a "Honkey" or a "Cracker" to my face, but then again I don't run around calling people the "N" word, either (and realize that I'm not even allowed to type the full word due to the extreme ecosystem of political correctness that exists right now in America).

If our standard of allowable language is going to be reduced to the common denominator of only those things that offend no one, then we might as well abandon the whole point of language and verbal communication in the first place.

Perhaps then we can rename America -- a highly-offensive Indian-origin name -- to "Mutopia," the nation where no one speaks at all because words might be offensive to someone. Let us all cut out our tongues and lobotomize our brains so that there is no more possibility of anyone thinking or uttering words that might be offensive to someone else.

Maybe it's time that we told people the truth about "word crimes" -- The way YOU react to words is YOUR responsibility, not the responsibility of the speaker. Words are not weapons that can physically harm you. It is the intent behind the words that matters more, and the real-world actions that matter most.

If the Obama administration really wanted to treat Native American Indians right, he would give them back their land. But don't hold your breath on that one. In America, stealing tens of millions of acres from Native Americans is perfectly acceptable. But naming a sports team "Redskins" is not.


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